Individual Therapy: Put it in the Room, then Figure it Out

What does it Mean?

As men, or even as women, we all say to ourselves those same scripts we know we have to overcome, whether it is dealing with anxiety, or tackling a side project. 

To Put it in the room means simply, whether you are saying it to yourself, or your therapist, this is my shit, and I have to work through it. Or even more, I am going to set aside a day and time to just go through it.

First a Personal Example:

As men I feel like there are four competencies in life, we are continuously trying to master, perfect, and truly reach our best potential, our bodies, our wealth, our mission and purpose (to be fulfilled and work toward fulfilling it), and also to live a life of abundance (choices, fun). 

Since I referenced it in the previous blog, I’ll reference it again. I am not where I was physically a year or even a year and a half ago with ten to fifteen pounds extra on me. It has been constantly on my mind.

The other day I just said to myself, Ok, you have not been dedicated and consistent, from 5am to 6:30 am, Monday to Friday you have to be in the gym. So you know what, the alarm was set and I made sure that next day I was in the gym. 

The Small difference in my current relationship now I am content to go to the gym in the morning and want to. And while I usually will wake-up by myself for the gym naturally, sometimes that alarm does go off (and it’s only for work). 

Sometimes I wake up half an hour before that alarm, and only have time for a little cardio or a little weight training. I had to put it in the room, I am not happy with where I am, I’m frustrated, I want to look better. 

What do I have to do? Set that alarm very simply, to assure I am in the gym from 5am to 6:30 am. 

I set a time and a place to start to work through my goals and those barriers. 

Simply Put: Putting it in the room is to be present with what the hell is truly bothering you, and then simply figuring it out what is the first little thing to do, and when you are going to do it (day and time, hell even a place lol). 

What might it look like for you?

Perhaps you are struggling with credit card debt, and know the first place you need to start is just biting the bullet hard, and finding out for yourself how much you owe exactly. 

Put it in the Room: I have to get my finances together. 

Figure it Out: Not all at once, but maybe tomorrow you do wake up early at 5am or 6am, and treat it like an appointment, or after work. Tomorrow from 5am to 6am, I am just going to jot down my total credit card debt. 

Is it Fixed? Hell no, Did you put it in the Room? You did, and did you take a measured step! Yes!. Putting it in the room and taking those measured steps add up (if you can do it one day, then you can block out that time in your day for the next day). 

Face it, it’s normal to be preoccupied, worried and anxious about things, or even just frustrated, no matter what it is. Put it in the room with you, what is it exactly, and calmly just work through it, Ok, What is the first thing I have to do.  

So, What to do?

Be truly honest with yourself, what is it that has been plaguing your emotions lately. Is it an ex-wife, or a current partner? Is it a blog you have always wanted to start? 

Figure it out: I have to start blogging, Tomorrow at lunch from 12pm to 1pm, the laptop is coming out, and words are getting typed, it does not have to be perfect, but if I do it tomorrow, then I can block out time the following day, and the following day. 

In Closing:

I truly feel that it is the little things that add up that make a marriage or a relationship great, and while the word is ridiculous, fuck it I’ll say it chores!

What is that thing you must do? What is that thing you just don’t want to be bothering you anymore, or wish it did less? What is that one thing, you want to look back at tomorrow, and go I’m happy I got started. 

As men, and women, we all go through challenges, difficulties, we have to empty our gas tank (what is really bothering us), but then it’s time to figure it out, otherwise the gas tank just gets more and more fill, and not with ultra 93. 

Next Steps: 

Feel free to send me an email, tell me what’s bothering you, put it in the room. We can hop on the phone for a free 15 minutes, and see if working together is right for you. 

If you are interested in your marriage or relationship counseling with either your partner, or just looking to work through a problem or challenge regarding your partner, Click on the Contact Me Tab, and send me an Email. 

I am more than happy to book a scheduled 15 minute phone consultation, hear about your story, and see how I can help and possibly work together.