Marriage Counseling: Help Around the House? Horse Trading or Loving?

What does it Mean?

Do you find yourself frustrated that either you are constantly doing things around the house, or your husband seems to only do them if you ask?

Why is it? Why is it we don’t just pitch in, and grab those dishes in the sink or dishwasher after dinner?

First a Personal Example:

One reason I hate to use personal examples, is well one, some people may or may not know who I am referencing, and reason number two is it can come across like I am shouting down from the mountain tops, well oh well I guess. 

For those who know (hopefully many readers do not know), I am more than happy to help around the house with my lady-friend (yes I really did say lady-friend). 

Why? Because I truly love her, and hopping to help in the kitchen, grab the clothes out of the dryer, or even hold the cat with dingleberries coming out of it, or all things I take pride in not being asked to do, 

Why? Because they truly are done out of love. 

What might it look like for you?

It truly is funny how chores, a word we are all familiar with for good or for bad, is truly actually something that can just be done as an act of kindness and love, not just in your romantic partnerships, but children toward parents and lovers toward each other. 

Men: Hop in that kitchen, help out with dinner, Put that laundry away, or even take out that trash, but most of all do it out of love, and also just to handle crap, and also out of love.

Not as an act out of love, but just rather as an act to give that says, “Hey I got this, don’t worry.”

Ladies: These are the types of things you might need to communicate, tell your man how much it would mean, or just even a simple thank you that really helped me.

Be sweet and be kind after (yes I know it might take a lot, especially after something innocuous like laundry lol). 

So, What to do?

Guys: Pick one thing around the house you do not do much of or usually your wife would ask you to do?

From either feeding the dog, dishes, cooking, laundry. Just pick one. Do it for a day, two, three, four or even a week. 

All without saying a word. I promise your wife or loved one will feel just a little bit better even in that moment, and when she does while it is only for that moment, those moments of feeling good add up!

Ladies: Communicate it! A lot of times we need it spelled out for the house, “Hey babe, would you mind grabbing those clothes out of the dryer, thank you!”

Yes you probably need to be a little sweeter, and kinder than usual or the norm to just ask a simple favor, but face it, it’s that sweetness and kindness that makes it feel not like a chore, but an act of love we are giving to our relationship. 

In Closing:

I truly feel that it is the little things that add up that make a marriage or a relationship great, and while the word is ridiculous, fuck it I’ll say it chores!

These are the things we have to do to maintain a house, family and relationship, cook dinner, put the dishes away, feed the pet, walk the dog, homework with the kids, bedtime with the kids, garbage out, laundry folded and/or washed. 

These little things are also just acts of kindness we can gladly due for each other that truly go a long way, and men I’m sorry I am looking at you, do them! Lead! go first! Handle it! And I promise you, your lady will truly thank you and feel better!

Next Steps: 

If you’re frustrated in your marriage or relationship with either your partner, children or looking to work through a particular challenge. Click on the Contact Me Tab, and send me an Email. 

I am more than happy to book a free 15 minute phone consultation, hear about your story, and see how I can help and possibly work together.